Friday, December 10, 2010
The winter solictice in coming and soon it is the time to escape the Krampus, eat herrings and drink Coke. Not much Christianity in the feast, but then again, it never was a Christian feast in the beginning.

When I was a kid, we always had chocolate calerdars to make the 24/25 days to feel even longer. Not only did you have to wait for the evening to unwrap the presents (where I am from, we did the party on 24th day), but for the coming morning to get a shitty German piece of chocolate. Those candies were horrible, but for a child they still had some brown and sugary magic in them. Perhaps like D'Angelo for women.

Yesterday, I turned the tv on, and saw a commercial for a boob-calendar, Vakaru Zinios Mergaiciu Kalendorius, or such. Lithuanian wannabe-celebrities posing in minimal clothing. BS.

To celebrate this tasteless season of shopping, I present something as plasticky and tasteless:

Famous Women from Baltics gone nude! Woo-hoo! Ok, it's lame, or even hella-lame as Cartman once put it.

First, there is Oksana Pikul. She is nothing more and nothing less than a member of a famous Lithuanian girl band. They are not famous because of their golden voices, but due to their sticky-icky-plasticky breast enchancements. Here, she is before her career as a singer wishing you all a merry Christmas!

Then, to add some more northern spice to our Glühwein of nude girls, there is the wife of Risto-Matti Ratia. That is about all she is famous for in Finland, but in Estonia, she is some sort of a media personality. Here, she is posing for Playboy for 365 bottles of champagne. I bet she'll get some local brand like Alita or Rigas instead.

Now, all it requires is an addition from the lands of Ordo domus Sanctæ Mariæ Theutonicorum Hierosolimitanorum. That is Latvia, wherefrom these joyful German knights were raping and pillaging tastefully the whole region. So who shall it be.. ? No idea. Just go here, and find the local edition of Hefner's most famous and pick your own candidate.

That's about it. If you want to see more Baltic women gone tastefully naked, try a strip bar in London. Or fly to Tallinn or Riga!


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